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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 9:41 pm 
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Talking robots hit their peak with Twiki and Dr. Theopolis in season 1 of Buck Rogers. They jumped the shark in Season 2 of Buck Rogers, when Twiki and that fucked-up-Mr.-Belvedere-cheap-piece-of-shit robot kept arguing through every episode.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 10:10 pm 
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brian wrote:
Are you trying to say you look down on people here for liking one talking car movie over another, and thus, you're absurd?

Wait.

There's another talking car movie?

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 10:53 pm 
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Transformers 3 and Cars 2?


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:03 pm 
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What's this now?

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:04 pm 
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:04 am 
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I finally got around to seeing Transformers 2 this weekend. I couldn't offer you a concise plot summary and only have a rough idea what it was all about, but giant robots kicking the shit out of one another are cool.

Best parts:

The fight in the forest
That Decepticon chick on all fours over Sam. Man, what an ass
The big robot busting up shit on top of the Great Pyramid
Megan Fox's ass
Lens flare

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:20 am 
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:hole1: :nohole: :nohole: :nohole: :nohole:

An hour to long, and a synapse short of brain dead. I can forgive logical leaps, I can forgive moronic dialogue, I can forgive empty characters, as long as the action in an action flick is cool, choreographed well, and quick. This had none of that. It broke the only rule a film like this has, don't bore me. It is boring, the action is poorly done. It is not even good for mindless fun, it's not fun.
The one star is for cinematography. It looks very pretty.
I fell asleep 5 times. The bangs woke me up.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 11:18 pm 
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Ericubus wrote:
:hole1: :nohole: :nohole: :nohole: :nohole:

An hour to long, and a synapse short of brain dead. I can forgive logical leaps, I can forgive moronic dialogue, I can forgive empty characters, as long as the action in an action flick is cool, choreographed well, and quick. This had none of that. It broke the only rule a film like this has, don't bore me. It is boring, the action is poorly done. It is not even good for mindless fun, it's not fun.
The one star is for cinematography. It looks very pretty.
I fell asleep 5 times. The bangs woke me up.


This. Except I nearly fell asleep. Though I had the same complaint for the first film as well, never saw the 2nd.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:54 pm 
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I was scared to get a tat, but I still wanted to show how much I love these movies.

Image

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 7:33 pm 
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REDBOX, MOTHERFUCKER.

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 7:22 pm 
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:half: :nohole: :nohole: :nohole: :nohole:

Only gets the half-hole due to Sucker Punch making this the second-most horrible movie of the year. John Turturro, John Malkovich and Frances McDormand?! Somewhere, the Coen Bros. are wincing.

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2011 10:52 pm 
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I watched this with a bunch of Hispanic middle-schoolers.

It is the ONLY way to watch this movie.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2016 1:29 pm 
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I understand that expecting much from these movies is stupid and unrealistic, but damn are they a hot mess.

Saw the first and enjoyed the novelty of big fucking robots beating the shit out of one another, so there is that.

Tried watching the second one twice, could barely follow the incoherent story. Never managed to get all the way through it.

Never bothered with the third.

Watched the first two hours of #4 last night and it was a mess. Actually started off pretty solid, then veered off the rails into a messy, sloppy story that would only make sense to someone having a fever dream. Plus, two hours and no dinobots? WHAT THE FUCK, BAY, I WAS ONLY WATCHING THIS SHIT FOR SOME DINOBOTS!!!

And there more are planned ...

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2016 7:15 pm 
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How anyone can expect anything other than runny dogshit from a movie with Michael Bay at the helm is beyond me.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2016 11:13 pm 
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Monterey Jack wrote:
How anyone can expect anything other than runny dogshit from a movie with Michael Bay at the helm is beyond me.

er...he's actually a competent filmmaker, given the right subject matter. The Island and Bad Boys are both examples of perfectly executed action films, and Pain & Gain is a really good film. Even his worst film, Armageddon, is technically spot on.

But, yeah, those Transformers movies are just garbled nonsense.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 7:20 am 
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I can't think of a single Bay movie I don't despise. I don't know why Pain & Gain was given a "Hey, this isn't entirely bad..." pass from critics, as a based-on-fact film where the nominal "heroes" are lunkheaded criminals who spend their time cutting off innocent people's hands and grilling them on the barbecue to remove the fingerprints (played as HIGH-larious farce) is hard to stomach. And yeah, the occasional somewhat pretty visual image might sneak through the seizure-cam editing, but Bay is little more than a glorified second-unit director somehow given the keys to the kingdom. He has no idea how to properly pace a narrative, present characters as anything more than a thin, shrill caricature of whatever race/sex/orientation they happen to be, or even connect two shots with a minimum of competence. I'm sorry, but I simply can't "turn off my brain" and enjoy this shit.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 8:47 am 
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Monterey Jack wrote:
the nominal "heroes" are lunkheaded criminals who spend their time cutting off innocent people's hands and grilling them on the barbecue to remove the fingerprints (played as HIGH-larious farce) is hard to stomach.

I laughed at that the exact same way I laughed at the foot in the wood chipper with the sock hanging off it in Fargo.

Therefore Pain and Gain is as good, if not better than Fargo. :wink:

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 9:20 am 
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Chris Knight wrote:
Monterey Jack wrote:
How anyone can expect anything other than runny dogshit from a movie with Michael Bay at the helm is beyond me.

er...he's actually a competent filmmaker, given the right subject matter. The Island and Bad Boys are both examples of perfectly executed action films, and Pain & Gain is a really good film. Even his worst film, Armageddon, is technically spot on.

The Rock can pretty much serve as an action move template.

Actually, I think the first half of The Island was superb, too. It went to complete shit once it became a Bay movie, complete with helicopters silhouetted against the sun and stereotypical badasses, but the first half was really good science fiction.

Dude has some absolutely shit writers, though.

I don't like most of his movies, but there is no denying that he's good at what he does.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 7:47 pm 
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Shoe wrote:
Actually, I think the first half of The Island was superb, too. It went to complete shit once it became a Bay movie, complete with helicopters silhouetted against the sun and stereotypical badasses, but the first half was really good science fiction.


The Island had not one original idea in the realm of speculative sci-fi...you know a movie's bad when it blatantly rips off something that was shown on MST3K (Parts: The Clonus Horror). And even whatever meager thematic ideas Bay is trying to explore in the first half are rendered null and void when it turns into a typical smash & grab action fest. Aside from Scarlett Johansson's ass and the rare opportunity to hear Ewan McGregor allowed to use his native Scottish accent, it's a total wash...albeit the least-objectionable movie he's made to date (mainly because he doesn't cram in his usual casual racism).

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 8:25 pm 
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Monterey Jack wrote:
Shoe wrote:
Actually, I think the first half of The Island was superb, too. It went to complete shit once it became a Bay movie, complete with helicopters silhouetted against the sun and stereotypical badasses, but the first half was really good science fiction.


The Island had not one original idea in the realm of speculative sci-fi...

I don't think that really matters and has no real bearing on whether or not it was well done or enjoyable.

You know what doesn't have many original ideas in the realm of speculative fiction?

Most speculative fiction.

The genre has been dealing with the same ideas for decades. It's rare that something new comes along (the most recent arguably being Gibson's "Neuromancer," which came out in 1984). It's hardly a mark against The Island when even top shelf genre films like Gatacca and Children of Men can be hit with the same accusation.
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you know a movie's bad when it blatantly rips off something that was shown on MST3K

Also doesn't matter. Just like sci-fi in general, MST3K was FILLED with movies that dealt in good ideas done poorly. It's part and parcel of the genre. There are countless thousands of paperbacks printed over many decades that are exactly the same sort of thing -- interesting ideas done poorly -- with a few masterpieces rising to the top.

And those masterpieces generally deal in the same kind of themes found in the shitty paperbacks. The only difference is that they did them better.

So I don't think any thematic similarities between The Island and a B cult classic says much of anything about either movie, nor do any swipes.

Hell, plucking stuff from work and making it your own, even lesser or "trashy" work, is how creativity works.

Like I said, sci-fi has been riffing on the same ideas for decades. Even GOOD sci-fi. If the measure was about pure originality, the genre would be dead. That's not the measure, though. It's about how well you do it.

The first half of The Island was well done.

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