First teaser has been released.



Got to be honest, it did nothing for me.

Will still be in the theater with bells on, but that trailer left me cold all the same.

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"It's come down to Shoe scraping his opiate hardened shit balls from his asshole with a spoon
" - Kimfair

Luke saying that made me not be happy.

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Pender will beat off to anything....

Force awakens ends with Finn in a coma, Ray about to be trained by Luke, and Kylo scarred and angry.

This trailer shows Finn in a coma, Ray being trained by Luke, and Kylo scarred and angry.

Also, there's AT-ATs. Which we've seen before, so okay then. I really won't be surprised if there's a death star in this one. There's nothing here that screams "what is that?!!??!" that usually accompanies star wars teasers (see: every teaser for every star wars movie that Lucas was involved in).

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In space, nobody can hear you ride breakfast goat

Yep. It's just, "Here's some Star Wars stuff."

That's cool and all, but there was nothing in it that told me it was going to be a good or interesting movie.

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"It's come down to Shoe scraping his opiate hardened shit balls from his asshole with a spoon
" - Kimfair

And yet he's training her elsewhere in the trailer. Odds are, that's in the first 15 minutes of the movie, before she changes his mind.

I'm pretty sure that's exactly what happens. (BTW, I have not read up on any spoilers, or possible story content - this is all based on the trailer I watched today.)

Luke doesn't want to train her, gives her the run down on Kylo's downfall/betrayal/whatever, and says the Jedi are done (because eventually they end up training Sith).

She then changes his mind via [insert deus ex, I'm guessing a Death Star] and we cut to the Highlander/Rocky IV training montage.

Since it's a 2nd act, and has to end on a downer, I'm assuming Luke gets killed exactly 92.5 minutes into the movie.

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In space, nobody can hear you ride breakfast goat

Same here. But since the same trailer has training, it seems like there has to be some change of heart. Either he starts reluctant then agrees to train her, starts training her but has doubts some time during the process, or trains her in the force with the understanding that she's not going to be a Jedi. And the last seems like it would complicate a franchise Disney is going to want to keep milking, so I'd call it least likely.



Better if he ends up frozen in carbonite.

Maybe he loses another hand.

It feels a little weird that I don't care about any of the possibilities.

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"It's come down to Shoe scraping his opiate hardened shit balls from his asshole with a spoon
" - Kimfair

Because you and I know they aren't going to rock the boat.

A lot of negativity in here....

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Pender will beat off to anything....

Well, they've demonstrated that they're willing to kill off a character (especially if the actor who plays that character demands it). But no more Jedi? I'm thinking Disney wants to keep that door open, and a writer who put that in a script would get some notes back.

No negativity as far as I can see, just people who are surprised at how un-jazzed they are.

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"It's come down to Shoe scraping his opiate hardened shit balls from his asshole with a spoon
" - Kimfair

That trailer had nothing making me want to revisit it. I probably watched TPM's and TFA's trailer dozens of times.

Yeah, to be clear - I do not like Force Awakens after the 1st act (save a few moments with the new characters - especially Rey), and this trailer is the dullest thing LucasFilm ever put out - but I will still be watching this chapter opening day.

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In space, nobody can hear you ride breakfast goat

I think Pender was expecting this. https://youtu.be/BJgLa3eKMYs

Man, that Tauntaun cost me $90 back in the day...

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In space, nobody can hear you ride breakfast goat

Buying 1990s Star Wars toys is one of my life regrets and serves as a reminder why owning plastic crap/collecting things is bad for me.

Yeah, I'm done buying Star Wars toys...ahem...

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In space, nobody can hear you ride breakfast goat

She was like a Tauntaun

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Pender will beat off to anything....

This is the thing the Internet is talking about:

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"It's come down to Shoe scraping his opiate hardened shit balls from his asshole with a spoon
" - Kimfair

Can't wait to watch it...two months from now after I get back from a showing of the movie.

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< Fucking Loser

no goosebumps, but I liked that first shot.

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In space, nobody can hear you ride breakfast goat

Does this come with a pillow and a bankey with the price of admission?

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"Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss."

Can I just say, there's a part of the trailer that seems small (and it is) but really bugs me, but I haven't seen anyone mention it yet: Right at around 1:30, we see Chewie. He seems to have gotten some very minor digital enhancement to make his eyes more expressive (or perhaps it's just better makeup than years ago).

But now it looks "unnatural." Chewie doesn't move like that. His face isn't expressive like that. It's all wrong.

Second worst Star Wars movie of all time, guaranteed.

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"It's come down to Shoe scraping his opiate hardened shit balls from his asshole with a spoon
" - Kimfair

Yeah, that definitely stood out for me, but I'm assuming someone at ILM will raise their hand and ask to fix it before December.

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In space, nobody can hear you ride breakfast goat

That bugged me too. Also that they replaced Han Solo with a bird.

However, Chewbacca also looked like shit in Episode 3.

Well, to be fair, he was fighting a war - probably didn't have time for a shower.

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In space, nobody can hear you ride breakfast goat

Well if it follows the model of The Force Awakens, it will take episodes I - III and mash them into one movie with different actors and everyone will swoon and throw money at the screen.

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"Watch my stuff." - Monterey Jack

Or just crib from Empire Strikes Back.

I'm wondering if that hand held out at the end of the trailer means we'll get a remix of the "Join me!" bit from the end of Empire. And maybe, to give it the same sort of mid-trilogy down-ending that Empire had, we'll see a different answer from Luke's (and then a predictable redemption in the next movie).

The lighting between Rey and Ben doesn't match - so, I think this is a "fooled you" bit in the trailer. Or they just didn't light it properly.

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In space, nobody can hear you ride breakfast goat

It looked like it was from two different scenes to me, but I don't see how that'd negate the possibility that the plot plays out that way.

Picked up my opening-day matinee ticket this afternoon.

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< Fucking Loser